ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
