Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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