Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had to coat check the pizza.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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