Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
