is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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