have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
