Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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