First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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