you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
