I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
