plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
