I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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