Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
