I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
