Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
