just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
