i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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