Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
