Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
