I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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