i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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