no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
