He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
