i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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