so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
