Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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