Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
