If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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