So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
