If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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