it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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