I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
