I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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