I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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