you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
