I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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