I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
