are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
