I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
