That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
