i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
