last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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