why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hippo gnu deer
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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