The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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