i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
