If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
