He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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