I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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