just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
