btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
